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THE JOB INTERVIEW
Skirt? Calvin Kleins.
Purse? Prada.
Pumps? Jimmy Choos, of course.
Running out the door, I did a quick last minute check of my hair and makeup. Although I wasn't sure about working for an agency, everything needed to be perfect. If a girl in my profession doesn't maintain her image, she doesn't have anything.
Upon my arrival at Kathryn's Upper East townhouse for the interview, a very tall man with a close-cropped head greets me at the door. He's wearing all black - pants, shirt and leather jacket. "Miss Kathryn's expecting you," he says in a heavy Russian accent as he turns and leads me into a sitting room lit with the largest chandelier that I've ever seen. Light dances off the giant pear-shaped pendant hanging from the center.
Kathryn enters the room wearing skin-tight pants tucked into her equestrian-style boots. She's pulled her hair into a severe pony tail - you can almost see individual strands of hair on the side of her head crying for help. Although thick layers of makeup conceal her true face now, she was probably a real hottie back in her day. She's certainly done a great job maintaining her body. The only hint of softness comes from her baby blue cashmere sweater.
Without saying a word, Kathryn methodically examines my body for a while - it feels likes a couple minutes. (I had unconsciously stood up when Kathryn entered the room.) Finally, she says, "You'll do."
Before I can respond, she continues by saying, "You need a boob job. Nothing too big. Just up to a C. And it has to look natural - we don't need balloons attached to your chest. Don't worry. We know just the doctor who can do it."
I think about telling her that my boobs are just fine. Sure, they're B's but they're nice and perky! I decide to hold my tongue, though, when I notice that Kathryn's right hand is missing a pinky. Only a little stub is there.
I find it difficult to focus on the rest of the interview. My mind keeps imagining all sorts of scenarios about Kathryn's missing pinky.
Here are some facts that I gathered, though:
1. I'd probably get about the same from the agency as I currently get on my own for normal one-hour sessions. They charge twice what I normally charge, but I'd only get to keep 50% of the fees.
2. Weekend stays are the real jackpot because the agency's clients pay a lot for an entire weekend - sometimes up to 3 times my normal fees - and many of their clients like to reserve a girl for a whole weekend.
3. The agency's clientele mostly consists of ultra-rich businessmen who like to take us girls with them on social functions as well. Having a brain is a bonus - just not too much of one.
4. Although the agency doesn't like its girls to be too independent, it's OK if I keep some of my own clients on the side. I just need to be available when the agency calls.
As I get ready to leave at the end of the interview, Kathryn says, "Oh, one other thing. Don't think about setting up 'private' sessions with our clients."
"Oh?"
"Some girls did that before. Of course, they don't work for us any more. They've found it hard to work for anyone else too. It's a real shame because they were such pretty girls."
OK. Now I'm officially weirded out.
I thank Kathryn for her time and tell her that I'll call her back. She seems a bit miffed that I didn't accept on the spot. She says, "Take your time. Just don't take too long."
So what do you think? Should I give it a try?
I never got a chance to ask about benefits. Somehow, I don't think that Kathryn is the type of employer who provides a full healthcare plan.
I never called her back!
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Black Sexy Lingerie
A girl who loves lingerie enough to blog about it? You bet.
Not to mention find and post pictures and even share some of my own shots as I work on my all lingerie website. I love the feel of my sexy lingerie, how about you?I am in my thirties, live in Canada.
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TO BE OR NOT TO BE
Why am I posting about MILF-dom? Well, because I'm 35 years old and will be 36 in just a couple of months. I'm at that age where I'm starting to realize that the halcyon days of my youth are coming to an end. If I'd known this is what aging was all about, I'd've taken better care of myself when I was younger! I'm steeling myself for the soon-to-be-here days when men I'm attracted to - men in their late 20s & early 30s - might not be attracted to me simply because I'm "an older woman".
For your information, "MILF" can apparently stand not only for "Mothers I'd Like to Fuck", but also "Mature women I'd Like to Fuck". No babies required.
I actually had a response in the Classifieds from a man who said he "really likes older women". The thing is, he was 33. Um, hello? I don't think 2 years counts as "older"!
You see, I'm *also* at that sensitive age where I resist the term "older woman" - How dare he call *ME* "old"?!? I mean, really!
Such a dichotomy I am facing here! Young enough to still have perky breasts, but old enough that tiny (for now) wrinkles are forming on my face!
I have a choice to make in the next year or two. That choice is whether to enter a state of denial (ie. continue to act & dress as if I'm 25), or to gracefully embrace the title of MILF.
If I go with denial, I risk becoming the old woman who refuses to acknowledge what everybody else sees & so becomes at first perhaps a laughing-stock, but then just a sad, bitter parody.
However, if I embrace MILF-dom, the only thing I risk is "rejection" by "men" who are too inexperienced and/or shallow to know what they're missing! I've got experience! I know what to do with a cock! I'm no timid flower in bed!
Hmm, it seems that the choice would be obvious, huh?
I think I'll close with a quote from Wanda: "I'm gonna rock your world!"
Posted by TwiddlyBits
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THE TOY PARTY
This isn't exactly what the Flea (a girlfriend of mine) asked for, but I just have to share it...
The first apartment that my s.o. and I shared was with three other great friends of ours, all females.
For Christmas that year, he and I were going to be traveling out of the country, so we thought it would be funny to leave joke gifts for the girls to open on Christmas morning.
Come that fine morning they open their gifts and laugh, as they realize we've given each of them a GIANT dildo. One in particular was just a joke - it had to have been at least 18 inches long and six inches thick.
So anyway, the girls leave the dildos laying about the living room for the next couple of days, enjoying a good laugh each time they see them.
Until the day the doorbell rings. No guests were expected, so they knew they had to hide the dildos fast!
Amy got up to answer the door, while Alyssa grabbed all the sex toys and tossed them behind the TV.
It was only then, after she had hidden the embarrassing evidence behind the television, that Alyssa realized the person at the door was the cable guy!!!
Needless to say, Lydsie ran to her room and locked herself in while Amy had to distract the cable guy while simultaneously extracting the massive dildos from behind the TV. This makes me wonder what other funny sex toy stories might be out there.
Posted by TwiddlyBits
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JUST HANGING OUT WITH A GIRL FRIEND"
My hands ran all over her t-shirt, touching and feeling her clothed body and imagining what her satiny smooth skin felt like underneath. She pushed me back on the couch and straddled me, caressing each of my breasts in turn through my cherry red t-shirt. She bent down and chewed away at my nipples through the rough cotton barrier, looking up at me with her burnt copper eyes. I looked down at her, my head swimming from the barrage of orgasms enjoyed over the course of our play together. My eyes smiled wide as I looked at her looking up at me. Her cheek was pressed against the thin plastic image on my chest ."
Despite my lust crazed high, a giggle erupted inside of me. A gorgeous girl nibbling at my breasts and me with my breasts sheathed in such a silly cotton t-shirt…I wanted to take her and kiss & suck her from head to toe as my passion grew just by being near her and feeling her warm lips on my body. "
More tid bits from the edge of passion"
By Linda"
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I'M FEELING BETTER NOW & A LOT HORNIER
Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming,he,he!
Yes, enough about the Dark Side of Sex for now! As important as posts like that are, let's get back to the hot, sweaty stuff!
Just because I've been sick does NOT mean that I haven't been horny. Dangly & I made love a few times while I was ill, but now that I'm feeling better, my libido has returned with a *vengeance* Yee-haw!
On the mornings that we don't have to set an alarm clock or be anywhere at any specific time, we like to take our time getting out of bed. Yesterday was just such a morning. After taking care of "nature's call", we both got back into bed for some serious cuddle time. Eventually, we ended up lying in a not-quite-69 position, both of us on our backs next to each other, but positioned so that we each had easy access to the other's bits & bites.
I think I started it by making the observation that it feels good to grasp my hood piercing ring between thumb & forefinger & push it into my clit. Gently at first, then harder after my clit gets harder. Dangly wasted no time in experimenting with this. Soon his thumb was slowly rubbing between my clit and my vag, stroking between my labia, sometimes dipping into my hole.
Meanwhile, I was gently stroking his ever-hardening cock, sliding the foreskin along his shaft, ocassionally going so far as to rub his glans, but gently, gently.
Dangly's thumb slowly coaxed the wetness from me (I've been sort of dry lately - being sick will do that to a girl), venturing deeper into my pussy while his other fingers twiddled along my labia & on my clit. I squirmed as he wiggled his thumb just inside my vag - right on that spongy mass that feels SO GOOD when it's rubbed in just the right way.
I wriggled around and tried to not kick Dangly in the head and still pay attention to his cock, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to maintain enough concentration to do that. I think I pretty much gave up the rubbing and just kept his cock grasped in my hand, squeezing as I remembered to do so!
His thumb was working magic in me as I groaned and squiggled and writhed around. I pushed back against his thumb, urging it in as far as it could go, encouraging Dangly to wiggle and press it against me. As I become more aroused, I like the pressure to increase. Dangly knows this & his other fingers remembered to press on my clit and rub my labia between them.
Soon, I was clenching my legs in orgasm! After taking a moment to breathe, I said to Dangly, "I want you to lick my pussy." He replied, "I think that can be arranged."
We remembered that I hadn't sat on his face in a while, so we disentangled ourselves, then Dangly positioned the pillows beneath his head & shoulders and I straddled his face.
I like this position because I can rest my head and arms on the back of the headboard - as well as grasp the headboard while in the throes of orgasm - PLUS we have found that my orgasms are stronger when I am upright on my knees. This position allows for all of that - and the pillows mean that Dangly doesn't have to get a sore neck straining to reach my pussy. It's a win/win!
Dangly's tongue is magic - it should be studied and modeled for the ultimate pleasure toy. I've said before that I don't know what he does down there, but OMG it sure feels good! He gets me in just the right spots with just the right amount of pressure and uses not only his tongue, but his cheeks, chin and yes, even his teeth. (He especially likes clicking my clit ring on his teeth!) He holds onto my thighs with his hands - he needs to with the way I buck around! - and wiggles his tongue around until I am practically fainting from pleasure.
I gasped and panted and clutched the headboard, practically squealing in delight. Soon I felt the wave of a Large Orgasm approaching. I told Dangly, "Keep doing that, oh don't stop, don't stop! yes! yes!" As the wave broke over me, I shuddered and moaned.
Dangly moved his tongue around tentatively, causing me to twitch and shudder a few more times before I climbed off of him. Looking at him, I said, "So, what do you want to do now?" He said, "I think I'd like to put this rock hard cock in your pussy. Do you think you'd like that?" I laughed and said bring it on!
I climbed on top of him and we guided his pole to my waiting cunt. I maneuvered myself forward-up and back-down a few times until I got just the right rhythm so that the bed springs could help me. Dangly pulled me close to him and bent his head so that he could take one of my nipples into his mouth. Sucking on it, he again used his talented tongue to flick and caress it, then wrapped his teeth around my nipple and gently bit, all the while flick, flick, flicking his tongue. I held his head, holding him close, not wanting to let him go. I gasped as I came again.
Letting go of my breast, he laid his head back down and grasped my hips to pull me closer to him. He pushed on my thighs and I realized that he wanted to move into Reverse Missionary position. In this position, I lean forward, then straighten my legs. Dangly spreads his legs & I put mine between his. He bends his knees & draws his legs up, and now I am in the position to thrust my hips.
I lifted myself up on my arms and thrust for a while, then raised up onto my knees, my hand on Dangly's shins, thrusting, totally enjoying the wonderful feeling of the entire length of his shaft rubbing along my clit with each stroke!
Dangly enjoys this position, too, and not just because it physically feels good - it's also a good "mental mind fuck" for him, his legs spread and lifted, me thrusting my hips, both of us sweating from the exertion.
However, soon Dangly's hip got a little sore and so we broke apart. I asked him, "Do you want me to get some lube and finish you off?" He said, "Actually, I'd like to jerk off and come on your chest."
Surprised - we've never done that before, at least not intentionally - I readily agreed! When he got up I quickly laid down in his spot, then he straddled my hips. He took his dick in hand and slowly slid his foreskin back and forth along the shaft and up to the head then back again. His eyes glazed over with pleasure. I reached up to play with his nipples as I watched this amazing spectacle. He twitched and moaned as I pinched and twiddled and then finally his eyes rolled back in his head, his chin pressed against his chest and his cock pulsed as he shot his load onto my belly and chest.
When he was done, I rubbed his come into my chest then reached up to milk another drop or two out of his cock. Flushed, Dangly looked down at me and smiled, then we both laughed in delight. He reached over for the tissue box & we wiped ourselves clean - well, clean enough to get out of bed, anyway.
I can't wait until my throat finally feels all better - I've promised Dangly that he's going to get some good blow jobs!!
Posted by TwiddlyBits
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THE STORY OF "R"
Hi all. Sorry I've been absent. At the last minute I decided to go home for Thanksgiving.....which meant alot of driving deep into Bible-belt land. I didn't think I'd have much to blog about from here, but last night a longtime dream/fantasy came true.
There was this guy I'd had a crush on in sixth grade; he was cute and cocky and not afraid to be nice to us girls. I didn't think he knew I existed.....but I found out later that he liked me too. But, I found that out at a bad time, because I was going with somebody else. When we broke up, he was going with somebody....but by the time they broke up, I was going with somebody again, and that's how it went. We were good friends throughout high school but lost touch after that. Even though our families are still here, we never met up.
Until last night, anyway. I was at a store getting some booze to hide in my room, and in he walked. Not quite as blond as I remember, not as skinny, either, but still with his self-confident strut--and a nicely balding top of the head. Even better than the version of him that was part of alot of my college fantasies.
I immediately felt a rush of warmth to my nether regions, along with a telltale moistness between my legs. Then he turned, saw me, and got the most gorgeous smile I've ever seen on his face.
Making a long story short, we're both single right now, so......we had a real fun time last night, steaming up the windows of his SUV. I can't think of a better person to have unleashed all my stored-up horniness on. No matter what happens around the dinner table tomorrow, it's been the best Thanksgiving ever for me already.
Tom was probably my first serious romantic interest. My hormones were just starting to percolate when he started talking to me in school. It was all innocuous stuff, sports and homework and music, but he was friendly, and cute....and I noticed that I was feeling new things, caused by his attention. Even though I liked talking to him, I'd often get distracted by his appearance, or his yummy smell.....that happened pretty regularly when we'd be doing something together. The new twitchings and longings happened more when I'd think about him, especially as I was lying awake in bed at night, trying to fall asleep. It was a mystifying, maddening, yet delicious torture! As I said in my first entry about Tom, we never were able to hook up throughout school, though we both wanted to. And we both thought about it a lot over the years. That made our unexpected reunion pretty predictable....and explosive.
So, I'm standing there in the store trying to decide what liquor to buy, when the jangle of the bell announces someone's entrance. I hadn't been paying any attention to that before, but this time I look up, and my heart flips. It looks like Tom!! Nah, it couldn't be, I tell myself, he wanted to get away from this hick town as bad as I did. It's wishful thinking. But I couldn't pull my eyes away....the walk, the hair....it's him. At about the same moment I decide to approach him, Tom turns and sees me looking at him. He seems to have none of my doubts--his face blooms into the big, happy smile that I'd burned into my mind all those years ago. Seeing that dissolved my uncertainty that it was really him....and suggested he was as happy to see me as I was him.
Our purchases completed while making reconnecting chit-chat, we step outside, and each of us exhales deeply. Neither wants to say goodbye, but who wants to make a move? Remembering how he liked my wackiness, I strike first. I say something like, "I so do not wanna go back to the oldsters yet. You got somewhere to be, or do you want to cruise with me?" He says that sounds like fun, and we choose his bigger SUV to drive around to all our old cruising places.
As he drives we're still catching up on news and stuff, and I'm not paying a lot of attention to where we're going until he stops the car. It's Lover's Lane (yes, that's its real name), but it's even better now because it's just as deserted and the trees and bushes along the old curvy road are bigger.....and after he stops the car, R turns to me and softly says, "I never stopped thinking about you, or wanting to find you." I answer by launching myself across the seat and delivering a kiss that tries to make up for all we hadn't been able to say or do back in school.
He's surprised but recovers almost immediately, and returns the kiss enthusiastically. Then we start giggling....then talking and kissing and giggling more, as we shed any lingering shyness and spill the things that remained unsaid for so long. Pretty soon, the talking slows......then the giggling follows suit, and our kisses become more....intense. They've all been intense, but it's clear what we're both wanting to happen next.
I begin to caress his body, stroking lower down his flanks each time as his enjoyment of my touch is obvious. He responds by grabbing both my breasts at once in typical high-school-hornboy fashion, which provokes an outburst of giggles that is smothered by hotter kisses, and gasps of pleasure from me as he massages my breasts. My hand dives to his crotch, and finds an ample reward. Even through the thick cloth of his jeans, I can tell he's rock hard....and pretty large. He softly moans his pleasure at my strokes.
What happened next is kind of hazy in my mind. Somehow we shifted from the front seat to the back, and we're going at it like two crazed teenagers--no taking clothes off except to uncover the bits that so crave attention, no safe-sex discussion or precautions, no what-happens-afterward talk, no attention to techniques and tricks--just heat and wet and the all-out explosion of pent-up passion. And I do explode, again and again.....Tom is very generously endowed in both length and girth, and he fills me and rides me hard, lasting a surprisingly long time before his orgasm overtakes him.
He remains inside me for a bit, as we catch our breath and regain our faculties.....neither of us seems embarrassed or uncomfortable with what just happened. Finally we separate, tidy ourselves up a bit, and with some more general, comfortable conversation, he drives me back to my car at the store parking lot. There, Tom gives me that big, irresistable smile again, along with another mind-melting kiss.
Once I get home and take a swig of the hooch I'd bought, I decide that since I had been such a forward lass, the next move would be up to him. I suspected it wouldn't be long in, er, coming ... and I was right.
Brought to you by Robbin
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Curious Nymph
I decided now would be a good time to pop out of the woods for a chat. I've been a busy nymph since Spring arrived but I wanted to check in. I'm still amazingly happy and more in love with my Bacchus than ever. Life is good here.
I admit I normally feel extra frisky this time of year but being in love makes it more intense. On top of that, I've got this irresistible urge to go out and buy pretty things to wear. Bacchus is completely baffled by this. If it were up to him, I'd wear nothing at all. Go figure.
The main reason I'm thinking about this is that I'm plannng something special for Bacchus and I'd like to find something sexy to wear for this occasion. I love wearing pretty things for him but I'm wondering if it's more for me or him. Is it really true what they say about men being more visually stimulated than women?
For my part, I enjoy playing the role of the sexy siren. I love the feel of satin, lace, and soft materials that caress my skin as I move. I like the way his eyes light up and the way he can't keep his hands off me when I appear in something especially naughty. It's delightful.
So would it be selfish if I go out and buy something like this?
I found this sweet little outfit at Eros Boutique but I think I'll look around there some more while I try to decide. Now under what rock did Bacchus hide that credit card?
By Rodella
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SINGLE WOMEN OVER 35 WHO LOVE SEX!
Being single, and female, and older than your early twenties, in today’s world is hard. Being single, female, over 35 and someone who loves sex is even harder. See, it’s hard to know when to decide to have sex for the first time. It’s hard to know when to be open about wanting sex. It’s hard to have someone understand that you really are interested in more than sex when sometimes it frighteningly appears that that is ALL you are interested in. It’s hard to convey that there is so much more to yourself than your sexual side when that’s an area that is easy to connect in and in which you are very good. It’s hard to remember that you may be more experienced than those you are with and that fact could be intimidating. It’s hard to think that sometimes you might fall into something that FEELS like a relationship simply because of the sex. It’s hard to desperately want a relationship to grow into something more and really not know if the sex is helping or hindering that from happening.
Someone needs to write a guide…not necessarily to help us girls to figure out these things – but rather to help men understand a bit more of what goes on in our heads (or at least in our loins) when you’re dating us. Since I have a forum in which to share, I’m going to attempt to at least start a list of clues and insights in hopes that we won’t be so alien, so foreign, so misunderstood by those seeking to get closer to us. Please feel free, ladies, to add to these! Maybe, if it makes it just a little easier for just one of us, the rest of us can have some hope!
Now…keep in mind that this is based on women over 35 – and that I have been told that I’m not a “typical” woman – so what I offer up is not going to be the only way to interpret things – this is where I’m hoping other women will chime in and add their own insights into the comments!
What is going on in your woman’s head when
1) It’s only the first or second date and she decides to sleep with you – She’s not easy. She’s not desperate. She finds you attractive and she’s free enough with herself to want to know what you’d be like to sleep with after that first kiss with you turned her on and made her so wet she couldn’t think about anything else.
2) She doesn’t push herself on you or really make demands of your time – She’s not uninterested. She’s old enough to know that at this age, we all have lives and she respects that yours is probably quite busy. This does not mean, however, that she’d not love to see you at any available opportunity. Quite the opposite, she doesn’t want to step on your toes and figures that you will call her when you have the time to get together with her. This does not mean that, if given the chance, she wouldn’t want to have sex with you each and every day at some point. This also does not mean that she’s not interested in your life – rather it means that she respects you enough to let you share your life with her on your schedule.
3) She’s totally and completely open about the fact that she loves sex and is up for it at any given time that you’d like to play – She DOES have other interests, she does really find other parts of you interesting. She really does want to go and do things with you, to learn about you by sharing experiences. Keep in mind though that she is in her sexual peak and she really enjoys having sex. She really enjoys having sex with you. This is all that it means. Do not read into it. Women in their thirties are much more in tune with what it is they want and they are more willing to act on it than they were in their twenties. Do not be scared – enjoy it. Enjoy her.
4) She seems obsessed with sex at times – This could be true. She could be so very tired of playing alone with toys that a real, live, breathing human is something very easy to obsess over. Obsession with sex with you however isn’t a bad thing. It doesn’t mean that she has nothing else going on in her life. It doesn’t mean that she thinks about sex all the time. It doesn’t mean that she’s some pervert that will not be acceptable to introduce to your family or your kids. What it does mean is that she finds you attractive and she loves to play. It means that she knows that she can get to know you WHILE you guys learn what there is to know about pleasing each other. It means that she’s in her sexual peak and you’ve been the lucky one to get together with her now.
5) She tells you that it’s ok that she doesn’t get off every time – This is true. While we women all want to orgasm each and every time we have sex, it just doesn’t always work that way. We do however enjoy the act in itself. We love to please others. We love to share new things and put a smile of surprise on someone’s face. You can absolutely ingratiate yourself to her though if you try every time anyway *wink* but don’t beat yourself up if she simply has a good time instead of an earth shattering one.
6) Just because she’s brassy and outspoken and seems like a sexual superwoman sometimes, she is still a romantic little girl in her heart – This isn’t something that she DOES but it is something you really should know. Those tender touches on the small of her back or on her arm absolutely melt her inside and make her grin from ear to ear when she thinks about you later.
7) She fidgets all night and doesn’t sleep when you are there – It’s not that she’s uncomfortable with you in her bed. It’s not that you didn’t please her and exhaust her sexually. No, it’s that she’s got some reason that she feels she can’t really allow herself to fall asleep next to you. Maybe you have to get up early and she’s afraid of you not making it to work on time. Maybe she’s still stupefied to find you in her bed at all and is just excited that you’re there. Maybe she’s got no clue as to what’s comfortable for you when actually sleeping with someone – it’s hard to figure out what positions work best when two people are sleeping in the same bed, to know which allow both to sleep well with out having arms fall asleep or drooling to occur on a chest. Of course, it could be that she REALLY wants to keep you up all night having sex and she’s afraid to ask you if that’s a possibility so instead she lays next to you thinking of all the things she’d like to do to you, and to have you do to her…
8) She tells you that she doesn’t care where you go to eat or what you do on the date – She really DOESN’T care if she says this, she’s just happy to get to share some time with you. Any food will do, any activity is fine. She understands that time is a precious thing so that anything you do REALLY is fine by her. If there’s something specific she wants – she’ll tell you. Really.
9) She leaves messages on your voice mail that say she hopes that your week is going well and that she hopes to hear from you or see you – She is not trying to be clingy. She is being honest. She really DOES hope that your week is going great. She really does hope to see or hear from you (since she’d like to have sex with you as often as possible AND she really likes to simply spend time with you) and that (because she’s not going to be demanding of your time) she hopes that you understand that she’d really like to see you more often than what’s happening currently. But she’d rather die than actually say that to you because you ARE busy and she’s terrified of being too pushy about getting to know you even better.
10) She does things for you for apparently no reason, such as pampering you – She does this because she likes what she sees of you as a person and it’s her way of letting you know that you are appreciated. She is more comfortable showing affection by doing things for you than she is talking about the fact that she’s become very smitten with you. Appreciate these things and DO NOT take them for granted or they will go away. As will her affection.
It’s not a long list, but it’s a start. Hopefully there’s a bit of insight here that will help anyone who’s been starting a relationship with an over 35, single woman who loves sex. If you think I’m off the mark – if you think you have something to add, PLEASE DO! I’d love to get more for the list and put them out there as an educational tool!
GRACIE
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RAVINGS ABOUT CASHIERS & ROBOTS
While I'm the first to admit that I really hate everybody, I'm starting to develop a new, deeper hatred for cashiers.
Hello cashier girl. Are you bitter that the American Idol thing didn't pan out? No one wants to buy your original jewelry creations made out of chewing gum and old tampon strings?
Could you move a little slower? Because this is where I want to spend my day. I'm in no hurry. I have tons of free time. This beats partying. This is like getting a soothing hot river rock massage. This is better. I can see if there's any new candy I'd like to try; I can browse the tabloids; I can strike up an intelligent conversation with the 300lb woman wearing her nightgown who's standing behind me who has apparently rolled in dog shit and vomit
before coming in.
Could you smash everything I just bought, by being less careful when you bag it? I definitely want those bowling balls on top of my porcelain fruit basket. There's still room in the bag? Well by all means jam some more stuff in it. God forbid you should use a second bag so someone other than my personal trainer can lift it out of the carriage.
But don't worry he doesn't have to hold it for long. Since you couldn't be bothered to double bag it, the entire contents of the bag are going to tear through the bottom and scatter across the parking lot causing my father to beat me.
And high end stores are the worst. You snotty idiot in your knock off suit, and pleather pumps. You don't own this store and unlike me you can not afford to shop here.
If you can wave an item over a scanner you can be a
cashier. Everyone pays with credit cards so there's no money to deal with. The only requirement to be a cashier is the ability to wave an item. Your job has been reduced to waving. I've got news for you: the retard in the
parking lot can wave, beauty pageant contestants can wave... the trees in my backyard can wave if there's a stiff breeze!
Cashiers, if you think you are miserable now, wait until you are replaced by robots. They will be stupid, miserable, lazy robots and they will be an improvement.
Posted by Kylah
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TO TELL THE TRUTH, THAT IS THE QUESTION
Cranking my hips the way he likes, with my tits swinging over his nose, I was inching him along to the brink when he gasped out, “Did you come yet? Are you going to come soon?”
He was about to burst but trying to remember his manners.
I was labouring hard, trying to focus, trying to build myself up but getting nowhere. I needed help. I needed him to take control and push me. Rack up the pressure. Give it to my mind. Talk dirty to me, anything to push me over the edge.
Please, I wanted to scream, Just this once, make me want you more than....
It didn’t happen, of course. I knew it wouldn’t, and I was tired of chasing that particular butterfly, so I made the best of a bad job.
I went through the motions and lied. “Yes. I'm---coming!”
With a few more grinds, I pushed him over the edge.
Every time, I own his orgasm. I wish that just once, he would own mine.
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SECRETS OF A PORN STAR
Ron Jeremy tells the world how to make it as a male porn star:
“It sure ain’t rocket science. I hide the bacon, squeeze the weasel, shoot the sherbet, and then the girl says, ‘Thank you’, and then I go off home.”
What? Being a porn star is no harder than drinking with my good buddy Jose? Any fool can do that! You just drink the salt, bite the lime, lick the tequila....
Er, run that by us one more time, wouldja Ron?
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ROMANCE
Mike did something magical though (computers? Magic. I don’t understand them, which is insane, considering a huge part of my job involves using them. However I just have to know how to use them, not how to fix them) which should hopefully take care of that. And so, here we are again.
There is nothing better, NOTHING better, than a sunny Spring day after months of dreary grey winter. The sun, the less than frigid temperatures, the ability to be outside without our winter coats, was truly inspirational.
And thus, one of our province’s more famous landmarks was the site of some truly fantastic oral sex today. Bragging? Sure, but if you’re good at it, you’re good at it, and damn, am I good at it. I loved the little shocked smile Mike got on his face when I reached for his zipper. I loved the fact that we could hear the occasional word drifting by on the wind (there were maybe 5 or 10 other people there, so it was a tiny bit risky, but not like in the summer when it’s overrun by tour buses), which was enough to make Mikey stiffen up, but not enough for him to tell me to stop.
And the ending, well it was amazing, hands entwined in my hair, clenching his teeth so as not to cry out—that was beautiful.
Ten minutes later, we were both still flushed, my lips swollen and red, as we walked into a nearby restaurant. The hostess looked at us and smiled, saying “Nice day for a hike, isn’t it?”
Um, yeah. Yeah, sure it is.
By Darlene
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Tshirts From Hell!
Tshirts from hell tones down a bit.
I was shocked to discover that my favourite tshirt store has decided to stop selling many of their most offensive shirts this week. Not sure exactly what happened there but it is a blow to free speech. I never bought the ones in question because theres no way I would wear them but its kind of good to know you could buy them if you were so inclined.
The ones I have and wear everyday say things like: "Orgasms: Keep it real", "I taught your girlfriend that thing you like" and "I broke up Brad and Jen"
They still have plenty of rude and offensive shirts at the site and it is definately still my favourite, I look forward to the funny email that comes every month. If you want to have a look here's a little linky...
T-Shirts From Hell
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MISS LYNDA THE TEACHER-YOU HAVE BEEN A BAD BOY!
Have you done your homework? No Miss Lynda. Well then you know what that means you naughty boy! Come bend over my lap so I can spank you. You have been a very bad boy.
*I slip your pants down around your knees*
Mmm nice little ass you have here, very spankable ;) Hmm should I use the cane or my hand to spank you? Oh you want my hand. Well I think you should wet it for me so it stings more... here lick my fingers till they are all wet. No, no begging, you are getting a good hard spanking young man, no its too late to be sorry now.
*I slap your ass so hard you cry out and a red mark begins to appear*
Stop wriggling about and take it like a man!
*Smack you again on the other cheek and then three more times for good measure*
Oh its so red and those tears on your face are so pathetic, here I will rub it better for you. Whats that? Oh you will be good now? Well we will see how good you can be.
What is your hand doing in your crotch? You dirty boy.. stand up and show me what you are doing down there! Oh my goodness! You can't help it you say? Well thats just inexcusable! Make it go soft you naughty boy! What do you mean you don't know how? Start playing with it now and I will unbutton my blouse and let you take a peek. Are these the nicest you have seen? They aren't like the ones in your dirty magazines are they? These are real. Do you want to touch them? Yes I thought so. Well you can squeeze them if you will kiss between my legs.....
Oh boy thats it for now... its hot enough here as it is. Hehe told you I like to role play. This came on cos I have been looking at Teacher Fantasy sites. Heres a good free teacher fetish site if you like them too.
The Teachers Fantasy
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DOUBLE THE PLEASURE!
I was checking out a free tour for a new site that is about Double Penetrations and wowee did those movies get me horny! I went upstairs and got some toys. One dildo for my ass and a big one for my pussy. I did an old trick I hadn't used for a while, I like to call it the 'nappy trick'. I know this sounds way too kinky lol but its not like that really. You see its hard to hold dildos in sometimes, specially two, cos my muscles try to push them out as they tighten with excitement. So I tie a sarong around my waist and let the other end hang while I lay down, when the toys are in I fold in back up and pull hard back and forth. It moves both inside and keeps em in. That way I have a free hand to squeeze my tits and use the egg on my kitty.
Well today after those movies I didnt need an egg, I came in 2 minutes or less thinking of having two guys at once like that. whoo that was fun. Talk about a 2 minute egg!
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THE UPSKIRT PERVERT- MY KIND OF GUY!
I had to take my car to the mechanics today and while I was sitting in the office waiting the mechanic kept taking peeks up my skirt. Well it was a dress actually, I guess I deserved it by wearing a short dress there, with tiny little panties underneath. I wasn't very comfortable so I kept crossing my legs and then uncrossing them. He must have got a hell of a look because I swear I saw a bulge in his pants. That made me wet and my nipples went hard as little pebbles, and I wasn't wearing a bra. I put my handbag in my lap to hopefully hide my need to slip my hand down to adjust my wet panties, but when I looked up he was smiling at me.
Lynda
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THE STUDENT
Once upon a time in a land far, far away, there was a lady. Well, maybe not a lady, probably closer to a bitch. I would be the bitch. My name is Seven. My mother gave me this name in all her wisdom because she was fascinated with the “Seven Deadly Sins”. Nice hobby. I’m sure I’ve gone through all of those sins over the course of my young life. Let’s see, the Sins are – pride, envy, wrath, sloth, greed, gluttony, and lust. They all do seem very familiar to me. Of course, they’re probably all familiar to you, too.
They say people who sit up high on a pedestal and feel they’re better than everyone else, are in all honesty, sick of their lives. Upset with themselves and what they’ve become and spend the majority of their time trying to keep those they ENVY below them. That’s where my pedestal comes in handy. Actually it’s a mountain. I live up here in this mansion. Doing nothing with my time, but plotting to keep everyone beneath me – in more ways than one. I do this with the most imperceptible subtlety. They never know what’s hit them.
Watch…I’m going to make this little man dance. Flash a little boob, show a bit of skin, a wiggle of my hips – and done! See, very easy. Oh, I can even do it to that lady over there. Flash…show…wiggle…done! I believe this would be LUST coming into play. That’s my favorite Sin. Maybe we’ll have a little chat about that later.
Now that my higher and mightier than thou introduction is over, I can give my true introduction. I think I’ll keep the name Seven. I kind of like it. If you’ve read this far and still don’t hate me, you’re my kind of people. Sometimes you have to have a sense of humor.
I’m a student at the local university. Taking mostly general courses this year. Not sure what my main course of study will be, but I figure I have a year to figure it out. At the moment, the focus is on business, just to get me started.
I’m single, happy to be single. I mean really, does Prince Charming exist?? The reason I’ve started blogging here is because I had a friend somewhere around here who was going to help me figure that out. *Looking over the top of my glasses at this little blogging community for her* I know she’s out there somewhere. We’re like dark and light. If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m the dark one. Eventually I’ll give a description of myself, but I don’t want to scare everyone away yet.
Sigh…I really wish my friend was around here somewhere. Hey you! Where are you? I have questions. And maybe I have a few things to show you. *wink*
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CYBERSEX
I was so horny today that I went into a singles chat room. An interesting guy asked me if I liked threesomes so of course I said Yes. That got me an invitation into a private chat with him and a horny girl about the same age as me. We talked about what we were doing both for real in our own homes and in our fantasy orgy. I was playing my toys with one hand and typing with the other. Rubbing with the magic egg and licking her at the same time. She was sucking him and in the real world using a red dildo on herself. Then he came behind me and teased me for awhile, I used my dildo on myself and used my tongue on her. When he thrust himself, I turned up the speed on my vibrator and with the other hand on the keyboard nibbled her.
Hmm anyway it got to the point where all i could manage was a mmm here and a ooo there because I was so wrapped up in my own pleasure and was enjoying just reading what I wrote while I went crazy on my own world with two toys (as I love to do).
It was very surreal, but hey I came, and had a good time... that was until I heard a knock at my front door lol. I ripped my skirt down and panties up faster than you can say 'busted' and ran to the door with a flushed look on my face. It was my Mum and she gave me a very weird look hehe. She talked and talked and by the time I got back to my computer my play friends had finished and left. But I will go back again for more cyber sex because um... well I am a horny little thing with more alone time on my hands than is good for me and no real sex on a daily (or weekly basis. Hey we all get through life how we can! Try it some time... you may even meet a name you can put a face to!
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I WANT IT BOTH WAYS!
"I'm sure I speak for most women when I say we would much rather have a man want us for our mind and not just our bodies."
I'm not sure that's particularly true. Not for me anyway. I spend alot of time leaning against cars, reclining in a semi-sexy manner. I walk down the street with a little swagger and wiggle. I do that awful thing a woman does when someone interesting is around...I run my fingers through my long hair, flip it around in my best "I just got out of bed" way..
I know I have a mind. I know how to use it. But if a man (or woman) is goin to come up and say howdy to me, they're not gonna walk up and say somethin like, "I was across the room and noticed your very intelligent mind making eyes at me. Do ya think I could poke at it with my finger for a bit?.
Maybe after you get to know someone it would be nice to have them want you for your mind. *laughing my head off* That really does sound crazy, doesn't it? We'll both know I have a mind. We'll both be able to have intelligent conversations, about any number of topics - even including roofing a house, the body work I did on my ex's '68 Mustang, NASCAR, sports, plumbing. Not just the "girly" things..lol. .
But I would love to have a man that wants me for my body and has no problem showing me how much. Someone that would look at me, give me the once over from head to toe, then attack me. Someone who when he's with his friends and they ask what I'm like, won't say, "oh, she's wonderful....she's so smart and we have alot in common." I want someone who's gonna tell his friends how much he wants to screw my brains out all the time. How much lookin at me makes him wanna lose control. Maybe even tell his friends that they only wish they had a woman that looks like his...lol..
Now where is the harm in that???.
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THE CUTE BOY TOY!
I just had to share this because I'm sittin here laughin my ass off so hard I can hardly breathe. I'm tryin to "type naughty" to someone while I'm laughin about it...lol.
I just got home with my boys. Was climbing out of my car to see a young man a few houses up washing his car (or his parents car for that matter...that's how young). Now I'm not sure if this was done for my benefit, but I can't figure out any other reason for it...
I stepped from my car, made short eye contact. He was walkin the hose back up to his house. I think he was done washing the car. It's incredibly hot today, so he had to have worked up a sweat. As I was walkin up to my porch, I glanced up the street to take another look (he may be young, but still good eye candy). Since he was soooooooo hot, he decided to take a quick sip off his garden hose. He brought it up close to his lips, puckered up just a little, then squeezed the trigger...
SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!! Sprayed himself full blast in the face...
I was tryin so hard not to out right laugh at him. He was jumpin around hackin, coughin and wavin his hands around his head like he had just caught a swarm of bees with his nose!
I'm sittin here gigglin now, thinkin that he's young enough now to take somethin away from this experience. When tryin to impress the ladies, by using sex appeal to sip from the hose - TURN THE HOSE AWAY FROM YOUR FACE!!
Damn funny!
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Snakes Room & My Dreams!
Paul dropped off the key to Snakes's place last night, and since he and Snake were going out for a night of "fun and games", I thought this would be as good as any time to check things out.
I peeked into Snakes' bedroom, which was surprisingly neat and clean. I also saw that he has hooks and ropes attached to the bed for restraining his "victims"
It really would be possible to see my favorite drawing come to life here, with him...
I get so horny every time I think of Snake, of me tied up as he thrusting into my kitty just makes me so horny I could scream.
I wonder what Snake would say, if he knew I was sitting in his house, and masturbating to thoughts of him?
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THE NURSE!
I have got a nurse, sort of Ok sick time is over, I have had enough! My friend Lisa came over this morning to check on me. She said I needed a massage and told me to strip off and lay down. I didn't even get the chance to offer her a coffee! Lisa helped me out of my tshirt and unhooked my bra for me, running her hands over my back. Then her fingers brushed down my sides to my panties and she slid them down very slowly and came back up and kissed my nipple. Wow, its amazing how fast you can feel better.
I lay down on the bed and she grabbed the bottle of oil from the bedside table and drizzled it down my back. Her hands ran up either side of my spine, sending shivers through my body and making my kitty tingle. It felt so good, just the softness of her hands rubbing on me and the way the oil felt all slippery. She leaned over me and her hair brushed across my back as her hands slid over my ass. Then she grabbed the oil bottle again and little drips hit my crack and trickled down along the curves, followed by her finger lightly tracing behind them.
She ran her finger along my kitty's lips and slipped her hand under me, holding my kitty in her hand. Lisa's finger tip caressed me as her head came down towards my ass and she made little kisses over it. She pushed my legs open and knelt over my back with her head below my ass and started kissing me. I moaned as her tongue pushed inside me and her fingers were rubbing me even harder. It has been so long since my kitty had felt the pleasure of a tongue. And who better to break the dry spell than a woman who knows what my kitty wants?
It didn't take long for Lisa to make me start moaning very loudly, and then bring me to the point screaming into my pillow as I came hard with her face still buried with me. As I lay there getting over it, about to reciprocate the pleasure Lisa rolled me onto my back. I went to get up but she said she hadn't finished the massage yet.....
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NO PANTIES
While my car has been at the mechanics I have been catching buses. I thought that I would have a little bit of fun with that this afternoon, making this site gave me the idea. I went out with no panties on and a short skirt. I waited at the bus stop, sitting facing the road for thirty minutes. Just for fun I had my legs open just enough that the drivers would be able see to see a flash of my kitty as they drove past. It was both fun and a huge turn on all at the same time... I don't know what I would have done if someone had stopped but hey.. life is like that, right!
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ONE MALE NURSE WANTED!
I have been in bed sick still or again.. Funny delirious thoughts go through my mind as I lay there. Yesterday I was laying there imagining that I was in hospital (where I may yet end up :|) and that I had this naughty male nurse. He was rubbing my back and telling me I need to get some sleep and that he could give me a massage to help. As he was rubbing my feet I realised that he can see straight up my gown and I am wearing no panties. I wonder if they get a lot of horny housewifes in hospitals fantasing about the male nurses. And are many male nurses straight? If I go in I hope I get a nice one. I have had pneumonia before and am feeling like I may be getting again, yucky. But of course I am still horny, though not as much and it is more just thoughts cos I don't have the energy to play. Wish I could have a male nurse here to play with me when I need it!
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SEX ON THE BEACH!
I have been slack I know, have had family 'issues' blah blah. Yesterday I went to the beach, it was lovely. You know how much I love the sun on my tits. I floated around topless in crystal clear water for ages and sat in the shallows touching myself below the surface. Water makes me so horny :P I lay on the sand just dreamily watching all the sexy bodies about. Many girls go topless there mmm and the guys often have yummy bods too. I wanted so much to make love to one right there in the sand. I watched a couple playing under their beach towel, they knew I was watching too and enjoyed it. She was topless and nicely tanned and he had a muscular body and blonde hair. They were pressed up hard against each other in the sand and she was looking at me over his arm. I think if I had made it obvious I was keen there would have been a threesome somewhere close and secluded but I had some family in the water nearby I came home so horny and frustrated so I played in the shower as I rinsed the sand out of every crevice thinking of what might have been.
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PLAYING DOCTOR
I have had some requests for close up pics and a huge interest in what toys I like to play with. Well this is one of them... its the toy I use when I don't know what I feel like.
I was playing with it yesterday in the loungeroom and thinking of how fun it would be to play doctor - patient with you. I often have erotic thoughts about a first visit for a smear test and breast examination. Mmm you say you have new instruments to test on me that make it easy to get a sample. You tell me to relax and open my legs and that you will be as gentle as you can. I notice that you are pushing your crotch against the table a lot and that you have quite a bulge in your pants. At first you slip a finger in, saying that you will need to insert more to check my cervix. Then you push what seems to be your whole hand in and I gasp, it feels both good but scary all at once. As you work your fingers inside me I realise that it may not be my cervix you are feeling, then you ask if it feels ok. I nod my head and close my eyes. When you stop and remove your fingers I open my eyes and see you picking up a metal gadget that doesn't look quite as I had expected, its cold you say but you can warm it up and begin rubbing between your hands. You ask if I can show you how I examine my own breasts while we are waiting and I shyly put my hand on a breast and start squeezing like I thought the pamphlet showed. As I am concentrating on that you push my legs open again and insert the instrument...mmm.. it vibrates and I really doubt it has any medical purpose, but it feels good. Your other hand is rubbing your bulge in your pants so hard and fast now and I know then that I am about to experience my first big "O". Mmm.
Um I need to go test some more toys....
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THINKING OF YOU!
It's been quite a while, and its very hard for me to explain why. Not without letting out a lot of feelings that I can't / won't / shouldn't express. I needed a break and have had a lot going on. But today something clicked and I had some wonderful day dreams in my bed...
We caught up just for a night, met in a little hut on an island.
We stand face to face over a bed with the moonlight shining through a window and the sound of waves pounding the beach outside. I am wearing a sarong and little white panties and you are in shorts and nothing else. You smile and walk to me slowly, the look on your face is like that of someone who lost something that they thought they would never find again, but then it just appeared. When you reach my your hand brush down my cheeks to cup my chin and you pull me in for a kiss. What begins softly at first soon ignites all of the months of missing passion and my body feels like its on fire.
Your hands run down my body, exploring every curve, then stop at my waist and move around to my ass. You push me gently back onto the bed and slip my panties off. I can see you bulging against the fabric of your shorts and try to touch it but you push my hands back and kneel between my legs. Your hand runs up the inside of my thigh, sending tremors through my body and making me squirm, I can see in your eyes that is just the beginning of something that will go all night.
My hips lift into the air as your fingers run up to me and you work your magic, rubbing me until I am so close to an orgasm then gently slowing down till it subsides.. you are the master of teasing. A finger slides just inside me as your lips move towards my hot lips and you begin licking me softly. I surrender to the pleasure, knowing it won't be that easy, you never let me come that fast. You continue to tease me with your tongue and fingers, they seem to know every secret I have, and wave after wave of warmth washes over my whole body, but never quite make it to shore. Just as I begin to get too restless you thrust your fingers deep inside and suck hard on me making me scream in intense orgasmic pleasure that leaves me moaning and panting.
You move up over my body and I can feel you rubbing against my me, and I expect you to enter me. But you don't.. you hold yourself over me just rubbing against my wet lips but never going inside. I can see how much this is both frustrating you but giving intense pleasure all at once, the look on your face is incredible and it turns me on even more. As it gets to the point when we both can't stand it anymore you smile and slip just inside me. It sends a thrill through my body and I wriggle trying to make it go deeper but you stop me with your legs and arms. Your body is starting to shake and quiver and it makes you move ever so slightly, so I just try to relax and enjoy it even more.
But just as I start to get comfortable you are twitching even more and you suddenly thrust deep inside me. I have a sudden orgasm that shakes my whole body and makes us both moan loudly, and you push deeper but don't pull out. Having you so deep and hard is amazing, and so is the self control that keeps you there. I think you are ready but realise it must be like an orgasm but not the end. I wrap my legs around your ass and hold you there kissing your face as your whole body shudders.
After an endless time you start thrusting me hard, and you are groaning loudly. Each time you push deeper into me I cry out in pleasure and a huge orgasm is building in both of us that there is no controlling. You grab my shoulders harder as your emotion explodes and I can feel as I thrust my hips back up to meet yours each time. I can see stars in front of my eyes as I feel a huge pressure that releases like a dam bursting. You collapse on top of me and all we can do is lay there sweating.. at least for a little while!
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